Almost together....

Brian went to visit the kiddos this past weekend. He left on Friday, picked the kids up from their last day of school, and came home on Tuesday. He was supposed to come home on Monday night but his flights were delayed, so Tuesday he was finally home! It was my birthday so it was a WONDERFUL birthday present!

Every time I talked to Brian on the phone it was the usual- "How are you? Tell the kids I say hi. Take LOTS of pictures!" haha So now I have some pictures to share with you!

So this is my almost complete family. Brian- my handsome husband. He is so charming and so funny. Instantly lovable. Izzy- My beautiful, strong-willed, talented step daughter. She is gonna be a great leader one day. And Vini- My mischievous, handsome, smart step son. He is probably gonna be a millionaire one day. lol I just can't wait until we are all together again. The next planned trip is September. The baby will be 3 months old, and we can have everyone together. I am planning on getting pictures of all the kids and of our whole family.

Being apart is challenging. Being a step mom is challenging. But it is also rewarding and I wouldn't have it any other way. All I can do is try to live my life in a manner that gives a good example to the kids, and that provides a happy home to all that enter.

I can't wait to meet my sweet baby girl. I can't wait to see the kiddos again. I can't wait for my family to be together again.

no plans

Woke up extra early this morning so that I could help Brian pack and get him to the airport. He is visiting the kiddos this weekend. He was gone all day today, will be gone all day Saturday, Sunday, AND Monday. I will pick him up around 10pm on Monday night. So this weekend I have plans to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! : ) Actually I plan to buy a few things that I still need for the baby, clean a little and relax a lot. I had a couple Braxton Hicks contractions this week so I am just going to rest, relax and put my feet up. Hopefully go to the pool and get a little sun?? We shall see...

As soon as Brian picked the kids up he said they asked for me. : ) You have no idea how happy that makes me. I miss them so much and really wish that I was there to take pictures and share in the fun. Their laughter is so contagious. While talking to Brian on the phone I heard their screams and laughter as they played with their cousins and it made my heart ache. I can't wait to see them. I can't wait to hold them and give them hugs and kisses. I can't wait to get a complete family picture. Hopefully we will be taking another trip to visit the kiddos in September. This way, we can see them and they can meet their little sister in person! I can't wait. I wish we lived in Colorado so that we could be closer to them all the time. Hopefully this will be a possibility in the future. HOPEFULLY!

Well, I have had a REALLY long day and am going to go home and relax. : ) peace out!

It just clicked...

Ever had that feeling you get when something that you have heard over and over just....clicks? You know, like just smacks you in the face to make you say, "Holy crap, I get it now." Well, today I posted on my facebook the following status:

I can't continue to do the same things and expect different results.

Yesterday, it just clicked for me. I can't even tell you how many times I have heard this phrase, or even told myself this phrase without it ever really clicking for me. I have been going over goals and ideas and things I want to do but I haven't been DOING anything about them. Dr. Phil actually said - and yes, I'm really quoting Dr. Phil haha - "Winners do what losers don't have the commitment or energy to do". Example 1- I look around my house that still has a little unpacking that needs to be done and I tell myself that I'm going to work on it. BUT I don't get up and unpack anything. THEN the next day I am disappointed that it still looks the same. Example 2- I want to strengthen my relationship with God and create a good support system. I was going to a church, but after a few weeks of trying to connect and get to know the people there, it wasn't the place that I needed to be. So instead of trying to go to another church, I just haven't gone. And yet I am disappointed that I don't have a strong group of friends or a "home" church. I strongly desire to have that fellowship and to be surrounded by people who will encourage me. I strongly desire to be involved and help serve God in any way I can. I strongly desire to start my little girl from the very beginning going to church and being introduced to God not only at home, but from the body of Christ as well. BUT I haven't DONE anything about it. So it just clicked....I am a loser. haha I don't REALLY think I'm a loser, but according to Dr. Phil's quote, I am currently a a loser. Well, I WAS a loser. I refuse to be a loser anymore. I will get my house ready. I will visit a new church. I will do all the things that I have wanted. With God's strength, I will not be overcome by stress, lack of energy or any doubts that may crowd my mind.

It just clicked....If I want different results, I have to DO something about it.

Keeping up with the Jones'

 ^{Proverbs 31:10-31}

¹⁰ An excellent wife who can find?
   She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her,
   and he will have no lack of gain.
¹²She does him good, and not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³She seeks wool and flax,
   and works with willing hands.
¹⁴She is like the ships of the merchant;
   she brings her food from afar.
¹⁵She rises while it is yet night
   and provides food for her household
   and portions for her maidens.
¹⁶She considers a field and buys it;
   with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷She dresses herself with strength
   and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
   Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹She puts her hands to the distaff,
   and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰She opens her hand to the poor
   and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹She is not afraid of snow for her household,
   for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
²²She makes bed coverings for herself;
   her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³Her husband is known in the gates
   when he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴She makes linen garments and sells them;
   she delivers sashes to the merchant.
²⁵Strength and dignity are her clothing,
   and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶She opens her mouth with wisdom,
   and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷She looks well to the ways of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children rise up and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹"Many women have done excellently,
   but you surpass them all."
³⁰Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands,
   and let her works praise her in the gates.


I have been reading a lot lately. A lot of maternity books, a lot of online articles about babies, marriage, health, fitness, decorating, etc. I love to read. I love to learn new things. But this morning, I didn't learn anything new, but was refreshingly reminded of why I do the things I do as a wife and soon to be mother. It's easy to get caught up in the aches and pains of pregnancy. It's easy to dread housework and responsibility. Lately it has been a struggle for me to find the joy in my responsibility. Ask anyone- I love being married. I love my husband. I love our little growing family. But lately I am finding myself quite overwhelmed. I read this passage in Proverbs and the first thing I think of is superwoman. She excels at all of these things and doesn't complain and it all seems so easy. When I examine my life, it's not easy. If I'm being honest, when I come home from my full day of work and take my dog outside and cook dinner, I REALLY don't want to stay in the kitchen and do dishes. Part of me feels guilty...like I'm not good enough. Like I'm a bad wife. Pair that with pregnancy hormones, and I'm not exactly the woman that her husband praises and her children rise up and call her blessed. I'm more like one of the trolls that sits under the bridge. Now, I still get up and do my dishes...don't worry, my home is not like an episode of Hoarders. There is no intervention needed as far as that goes, but I guess when I read this passage this morning, it was an intervention in and of itself. It was an intervention of reassurance from my heavenly father. I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. I'm going to disappoint. I'm going to be tired. I'm going to fail. But my God created me in his image and is not worried about whether I do my dishes or not. He wants my attention. He wants my relationship. He wants my desires to be pleasing him and not trying to keep up with the Better Homes and Gardens Magazine. So today, May 3rd, 2011 that is exactly what I am going to try to do. It is not about me. It is not about having a perfect home. It is not about reading all the books or knowing all the answers. Life is about living to love and serving a wonderful Creator who wants a relationship with me. Love God - Love People. That simple.

sicker than a dog...

Actually....other than being accident prone, my dog has been perfectly healthy. She missed the first step when we were going up the stairs into the house and face planted in the concrete. I could tell she was in a lot of pain because she just stood there and looked at me. I had to wait a couple minutes for her to slowly make her way up the stairs. Poor thing, I felt so bad! But other than a couple of those instances, she has been fine. I on the other hand have been down and OUT.

For the past couple of weeks my ears were hurting a little, my throat was a little scratchy, and my nose was running. Because there is so much pollen everywhere, I thought I was just having allergies. Tuesday morning at 3am I woke up and my left eye was completely swollen shut. I thought that something was in my eye and it was aggravated. I was freaking out! I flushed it out and tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I was awake when Brian's alarm went off at 7am, and super exhausted! I got ready for work like normal and started my day. At 9am, I still could barely see out of my eye and was spending more time in the bathroom trying to figure out what was in my eye than actually working. I looked online for a small urgent care clinic and immediately I thought about the Take Care Clinics at Walgreens. I thought that it would be affordable and easy to go to, so off I went. I spent 15 minutes filling out information on the computer screen while the workers are walking around me. When I'm almost done with filling out the information, one of the ladies asks me if I am the patient. Now, I had no one around me or with me.....it was just me, so I said yes. She then tells me that they don't treat pregnant women- information, mind you, that I did not see on their website. Instantly frustrated that I had wasted time filling out this information, I asked her where else I could go. She gave me directions to Legacy Urgent Care. It wasn't too far away so I headed that way. By the time I get there, it's 10. I fill out their paperwork and wait.......and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. They finally call my name and I head in hopefully. Their system is ridiculous! They called my name and I talked to a nurse about why I was there and was sent back to the waiting room. Then they called my name again, took my weight and blood pressure and was sent back out to the waiting room. Then they called my name again, and had me wait for forever in the exam room. The doctor finally came in and asked me questions about what was going on. He looked in my nose and throat and said I had a sinus infection. He looked in one ear and then the next and told me that I had double ear infections. Then he said that I had infectious pink eye that I got from the sinus infection not being treated. I just laughed. He looked at me with this weird shocked face and said that normally people don't laugh when he gives those kind of diagnosis. I then responded with asking him if he has ever had a pregnant woman come in and have a sinus infection, double ear infections, and infectious pink eye. I told him that it was kind of ridiculous! We both chuckled a little over how dramatic it was. He then went over the prescriptions and I was on my way. After dropping off my prescriptions through the drive-thru, I went to the gas station because I had to use the restroom. "No Public Restrooms" the sign reads. I sigh, get back in my car and head over to Subway. I figured I hadn't eaten yet, and I needed to use the restroom. "No Public Restrooms" Again?? So I finally asked the girl where there WAS a restroom because I had to go! She told me CVS- where I had dropped my Rx's off. A little frustrated with the irony, I headed back to CVS to use their restroom. I FINALLY got home at 2pm and got to take my medicine and relax. Ridiculous day!

During my resting, I got a call from my office. My friend/coworker, Nidia asked me if I was going to be ok for the training I was doing tomorrow. - wait, what?! what training? I had NO idea that I was supposed to be conducting training. My boss was swearing to the girls in the office that he had sent me an email on it...but I just knew that I wouldn't have forgotten something like this. Either way, I had to do some sort of training for 10 of the managers. When I woke up on Wednesday morning, I was barely functioning. But I had to suck it up for this training session that I was supposedly told about, an OBGYN appt at 2:20, and a staff meeting at 4- I was too busy to be sick. So not breathing very well- because my nose was stuffy and throat was sore, hearing very well- because of the ear infections hurting my ears, or seeing very well- because my eye was swollen half shut and completely red, I headed off to work. The first thing I looked for at work was that email....that, by the way, DID NOT EXIST. I never received any email about this training that I was supposed to do today. So I call my boss and he says his his famous phrase, "Oh it will be easy". But he didn't actually tell me WHAT I would be doing....so we get the laptop set up in the conference room and I grab my pen and paper. As the managers start showing up, they are avoiding me like the plague- which I understand! I was a sniffling, coughing, cyclops inches away from croaking! I sat at the end of the table and made it through the presentation and training for the two programs that my boss was highlighting to the managers. After the meeting, I went back to my office and tried to get some more work done. My boss told me to go to my doctors appt and then go home and rest. I left with Brian to my check up with my socially awkward Dr, and then went home and SLEPT.

Everything went smoothly until I went to sleep Wednesday night. I had been taking my medicine and my eye hadn't gotten any better yet, but it hadn't gotten any worse so I was hopeful. To put Wednesday night in terms that won't gross anyone out, I was so sick that I might as well have taken my pillow and blanket in the bathroom to sleep. I was pretty much up all night- dying, or so I thought. That's sure what it felt like. But I am writing to you today, so obviously I made it through! I was still awake and in the bathroom when I heard Brian's alarm go off at 7am. (Just for the record- It is so much more annoying to hear an alarm go off when you have been up all night sick than when you have slept for at least a couple hours.) I crawled back in bed and told Brian that I was definitely NOT going to work today. I called in to work and explained the situation. I got to sleep and rest for the majority of the day, which was really nice. Today, however, I had to go to come to work. I couldn't just sit at home anymore. I couldn't watch any more tv or movies. I'm just not hardwired to be that way. I have to accomplish something. I mean, yes, technically I was accomplishing healing my body and feeling better, but I have to have some more stimulus than the tv. So I am at work this 'wonderful' friday just so that I don't have to lay on the couch at home. Today will be an easy day though. I'm going to do things that I need to do and take it easy-----Wow....hate to interrupt your reading, but how ironic is this?! I am here typing about how I'm going to take it easy and my boss walks in to my office and says "I have a project for you". haha I at least was hopefull that today would be easy.

Well, I did forget to knock on wood.....

I am so blessed!

When I was in high school, I couldn't think of anything else but escaping that little town. Getting on my own and living my life with no rules. Now, as I'm planning to visit Oklahoma for my brother's wedding and planning to go to Florida for Christmas, I am so excited. I am so ecstatic about seeing all my friends and family. I'm thinking about all the pictures I want to take and all the conversations I want to have. I'm trying to cram so much in one little trip because I haven't seen these wonderful people in SO long!

I have to admit that I got a little teary-eyed thinking about my family and friends yesterday. I was just thinking about how blessed I am:
-to have this perfect miracle growing inside of me. It's all my dreams come true.
-to have my cute little puppy Emma Lou to keep me occupied so I don't emotionally overload my friends or husband.
-to have my beautiful niece and nephews and to get to hear their voices tell me that they love me on the phone. They are growing up so fast and I feel like I'm missing it all!
-to have my family in Florida who have been sending me all this PINK stuff for the princess. She definitely won't have a shortage of girly things for a while! : )
-to be incredibly blessed to have such an amazing sister who is always there for me when I need her the most. She always has good advice and the truth to give me when I need it. She has always taken care of me and I am truly in debt to her for always being there. I hope I can be as good of a mom as her.
-to have my weekly conversations with my Granny. She is the most beautiful soul I know. Just hearing her voice helps me get through the day! I can't wait to see her.
-to be married to a wonderful man with a beautiful and kind mother in law.

I am truly blessed. 

Brian and I were reminiscing about his proposal last night. Just thinking about the look on his face and how nervous he was. Sharing our story with our friend Gil was almost like reliving it all over again. I could taste the dessert. I could see the sunset on the bay. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as he got down on one knee. And I can't help but smile and almost tear up every time I think about it. We have had some hard times, of course, but they are so outnumbered by all of the amazing memories and just the day in and day out of our lives. I love him more than he knows, and now we both love our little peanut more than she will ever know. I can't wait to see him love on her and be the great dad that I have seen him be with Izzy and Vini.

We have some rough times ahead, but I know we will make it through.

I am blessed.

cleaning overload!

Tonight at approximately 8pm, we will be picking up our friend Gil from the airport. He is moving to wonderful Las Vegas and will be staying with us for a little bit until he gets his own place. It feels so nice to be able to help someone out when Brian and I have received help from so many people. So thank you to all of you wonderful people who have been able to help Brian and I out at some point! We really appreciate it!

In order to prepare for Gil's transition, we have had to do a lot of rearranging. Previously, our spare bedroom was used as kind of a junk room. I had all the baby's stuff in there, boxes of old pictures, books, my sport bag from high school, picture frames, all my journals, etc. It was a never ending pit of the random stuff that doesn't really have a place to go. So I went through and organized all of it. I threw away all the trash and consolidated boxes. I was having to constantly get up and down off of the floor which is getting increasingly harder to do. I was moving heavy boxes, and on top of my normal weekend "clean the house top to bottom to do list". Then when Brian woke up, we cleaned out the truck. It had a crazy amount of trash. Not gross trash, but wrappers and napkins and all of that stuff that accumulates from regular driving AND driving it from Oklahoma to Nevada. We had a blanket, clothes, Brian's bowling ball, the game Monopoly, an old journal, my old purse, like $11 dollars worth of change, and RANDOM other things. It was like going through a mini episode of hoarders..except it wasn't gross. Oh, and this was both days. We cleaned out the truck on Sunday, but Saturday it was more house cleaning and organizing and loads of laundry. So needless to say I was super busy this weekend. I am exhausted but I feel so accomplished! : )

So after the house was literally scrubbed top to bottom and completely reorganized and the truck cleaned out, I celebrated by going out and buying fresh candles. It was my little treat for myself. : ) So now my house is completely organized and "white-glove" clean for our new guest. It felt good to get rid of all that clutter. I guess it's normal spring cleaning, but I didn't realize how much harder it would be being preggo. Gotta remind myself to take it easy!

No Bueno

I haven't been feeling very good lately. I would 75% of it is just pregnancy blah and 25% is allergies since it has been really windy lately. I wake up in the morning and I can't breathe because my nose is stuffy. By mid day I'm free and clear and not feeling stuffy, and my throat doesn't scratch anymore, and I'm not coughing. But I'm just exhausted! And I don't have a lot to do at work. It's not like I am taking care of toddlers, or working in retail, or doing my old photography studio job where I was constantly up and down. I sit in my office and stare at a computer. I occasionally am on the phone. I occasionally have to get up to grab something from my box or put papers in other peoples boxes. It's not physically taxing. But it IS physically taxing. I am tired all the time. By the end of the day, I'm worthless. haha. I can't think, my feet are swollen, and I just feel miserable. I will then go home and cook dinner and crash. I have been going to bed at 8pm every night. I usually sleep until 630....which by the way is NOT when Brian's alarm goes off....it's just my internal clock I guess. Oh, and that is not an uninterrupted sleep either. I get up at least 3 times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. When I wake up I feel like I just fell asleep. So by friday, I am a zombie. I trudge into work with no energy and I feel miserable. My stomach hurts, my whole body aches. I mean, I know I have low blood sugar so I get queezy if I dont eat enough, but this is ridiculous. So yesterday I did all that I NEEDED to do at work and I went home early. I instantly changed into pj's and fell asleep on the couch. I slept off and on while watching random tv shows. I can't really explain it. I just feel miserably exhausted and my stomach just hurts or just feels blahgrossyuckewww all the time. Hopefully this is just a phase and I will be feeling better soon??? I don't know...I hope for my sake and for Brian's sake. I'm sure he is ready for me to be my normal self again too....

Food Log

I have really low blood sugar. I always have. That's why I get cranky when I haven't eaten in a while....and why if I don't eat very soon after I get cranky, I get massive headaches and am terribly nauseated. And I love food! So it works out well. : ) The first 3 months of my pregnancy, I was nauseated all the time. I couldn't really eat very much. My diet consisted of rice and black beans, and smoothies. I lost 23 pounds. Now, that I am able to eat better, I have gained some of that weight back so I have only lost 16 pounds. I want to do whatever it takes to make sure that I am giving the baby all the nutrients that she needs. I started noticing, however, that every 2-3 hours I am getting really light headed. I figured out that it is because I need to eat....even if I may not necessarily be hungry. Because of this, I have stocked up on granola bars, and fresh fruit and veggies so that I can have snacks throughout the day. I have not been doing very good at eating throughout the day, so I decided to force myself to write it down so that I could help keep myself accountable. Also it will help me track how much water I have been drinking. My water bottle is 32 oz, so I just have to drink 4 of those in the day and I will be good! So far my "food log" looks like this:

7:00am Eat Peanut Butter waffles, drink glass of OJ, and take prenatal vitamin
8:00am Start on water bottle 1 of 4 for the day.
10:16am Finish water bottle 1 of 4. Start on 2 of 4.
10:44am Eat granola bar.....eat two actually : )
11:26am Finish water bottle 2 of 4. 1/2 a gal of water down! yessss
12:30pm Eat 1/2 burger, 6 tater tots, drink half of my cranberry limeade, and drink a small chocolate shake.

I have been instructed by the nurse at my doctor's office to drink a milkshake a day since I'm not getting enough calcium....I don't know if I can drink one every day but it sounded good today! Oh, and usually, I have been eating healthy lunches...salads and sandwiches etc, but I just really wanted a burger today so I indulged. So that leaves me with 1/2 gal water to drink, a healthy afternoon snack to eat, and a healthy dinner since my lunch was less than satisfactory. I think that's a possibility. It may also include going to the gym after work and walking, but judging on my exhaustion level right now I would venture to say that it is highly likely that I will NOT be going to the gym today. So I'm just tossing the idea up there to see if it will become a reality. It would be so much easier if I had a work out buddy...more accountability. Have you caught on that I like accountability? So we will see what the rest of the day holds.....

Doctor appt and ramblings haha

Went to the doctor today...YAY! Such an answer to prayer. He checked everything out- which I found out is even more awkward with my husband in the room than if I was alone- and he said that I seem healthy! They took about 11 vials of blood from me which made me a little dizzy but I should get the results back within a week or two. Not only did they do the normal prenatal work up, they also took blood to test my thyroid. The doctor said that I could have thyroid problems since I'm not gaining any weight. Then he was rude. I'm sure he didn't mean to be rude. I mean, you have to see this guy! He is literally my own Luigi. All he needs is the mustache and the green overalls and he is a spitting image! He is really tall and quite nerdy so I highly doubt that he meant to be very rude, but I was a little shocked at how blunt he was. He asked me if I had been gaining weight good or if I was having problems. I told him that I hadn't gained any weight...that I had actually lost 23 pounds total. I also told him that my belly seems to be getting progressively bigger at a normal rate but that my weight doesn't change. Then with his dorky self he said, "Oh, so you were pretty heavy when you got pregnant." I looked at Brian and then back at the doctor honestly a little shocked. I said, "I guess so.", and then there was just awkward silence. I mean, I know from a doctor's standpoint he wasn't being rude but geez people leave me alone! I'm not having twins and I'm not fat! I'm normal. I'm better than normal- I'm fantabulous. The baby and I are both healthy and my clothes are getting smaller and smaller. Those two things make me happy so buzz off! So yeah, I know he wasn't purposefully being rude but he came off a little out of whack.

Along with not gaining any weight I told him that I've been feeling really dizzy and I almost blacked out last Saturday. (another reason he checked my thyroid) He told me that its probably because I am dehydrated. Brian and I both laughed and the doctor gave us perplexed looks. I told the doctor there is NO way I can possibly be dehydrated. He told me that I am supposed to be drinking a gallon of water a day. I told him that I don't know if I was drinking a gallon, but that I know I drink over 2 liters. Well, when I got back to the office, looked at my water bottle and it holds 32 oz. I have to refill that water bottle 4 or 5 times a day- which is a gallon by itself- then when I get home I have a big water bottle that holds 1 liter which is almost 34 oz. I drink at least 1 of those before I go to bed. Then when I go to bed I refill the bottle and put it next to the bed. I wake up all during the night SO THIRSTY! So I drink a liter throughout the night (which makes me pee a lot too haha) So now that I know that I drink about a gallon and a half of water a day, I can tell him on my next visit. If my body is dehydrated after a gallon and a half of water, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with me. haha

Changing subjects completely-----
I have a skype date with Nikki today! We have been regularly setting skype dates and let me tell you it has DEFINITELY helped me with my loneliness issue here in Las Vegas. It's so nice to see her face and hear about how she is doing. I also get to see little Monster No Name which is amazing. He is getting so big! I can't wait to see him in March and give him hugs and kisses. I also can't wait to introduce my little girl to him since we are planning their lives together already. haha. Every time I talk to them I ask Axel if he is ready to meet his little girlfriend....so far I haven't gotten too crazy of a response...but he can't even walk or talk yet so I'm gonna give it some time. : ) I'm just excited to have my skype date with her and reconnect with people again. I get so crazy here doing the same thing every day.

Now, Nikki did get me into this website called Cafemom. I have enjoyed it so far. It's your own space dedicated to moms and their babies and the questions/concerns that we have. It's actually really nice to be able to go there and read other people's experiences and talk to people in similar situations as me. They have discussions of literally EVERYTHING you can imagine. And this site isn't just for moms...there are people who have joined the site who are trying to start their family and just have questions and concerns about what lies ahead of them if they do get pregnant. It is really comforting to know that I can ask a question or vent or voice a concern and someone has been through it or is going through it at the same time. I have tried to connect with some of the moms in my area...not creepy like I'm stalking them...but just trying to start conversations and they all fail. They will respond a couple times and then the conversation dies. Then you have to start all over with someone new. People are just really hard to connect with! I don't understand it. I like people. I like talking to people. I like making friends. But it seems that I'm alone in that desire I guess haha. I'm trying out a new church on Sunday so maybe I can connect with some people there. We will see.