Blessings

I love being pregnant. I love knowing that I have a beautiful being inside of me growing and being nurtured by me. The baby is only a little over an inch now. So small and so dependent on what I eat, how I sleep, all my emotions. It's crazy, amazing, and an incredible blessing! I pray every morning on my way to work. There is something about the crisp air outside and a new beginning that just draws me to talk to him. I can't thank him enough for the blessing that he has given me and my family with this little one.

Now, I have said that I love being pregnant...and I do. I do not love the side effects that I have had with this pregnancy though. I am nauseated all the time.....ALL THE TIME. My friend laughed as she told me that I was going to have a Vegan baby because I can't really eat anything with meat. I know it sounds weird, but I went to Panera bread to get a sandwich and some soup. I love me some Panera Bread when it's a little chilly outside. I ordered a cup a soup and half of a turkey sandwich. The soup, I downed in an instant as I was SO hungry! I nibbled on the sandwich trying to get some protein but I couldn't eat even eat half of it. It was ridiculous. And for just a little more venting, I am tired all the time, have terrible backaches and am constantly hungry! But ya know what? It is so worth it. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing my little peanut gives me greater joy that surpasses any hunger, nausea, or sleep deprivation. I've only been to one ultrasound to see the heartbeat and I am definitely a worry wart, so I bought a heart doppler so that I can listen to my little one whenever I want. And believe me, this will be the newest addition to my purse. It will be with me at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Right now the baby is too small for me to feel the movements and the kicks. I am not doing anything bad or living a crazy life, but I just want everything to be so perfect. And I know it will calm me down to hear the heartbeat every now and then. Plus I think it will be a good bonding time for Brian and the baby as well.

Right now I will pull a quote from Juno...yep the movie with the 16 year old who got pregnant in high school. In this movie Jennifer Gardner plays a wife who so desperately wants to be a mother that she willingly accepts Juno's proposition for adopting her baby. After Jennifer's husband in the movie expresses that he is not ready to be a dad, Jennifer states that a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant and a man becomes a father when he meets the baby. I believe that is true for most situations. I believe that there are some dads out there who fall in love with the little ones, but I think it's so different to feel the baby's kicks and movement. I think it's different because the woman's body changes and grows as the baby grows and takes nutrients from the mother's body. The dad gets the fun job of late night runs for weird cravings, back rubs, and a little extra work around the house. Those aren't exactly bonding situations for the dad. haha. I think the heart doppler will be a great experience for Brian and I to be able to sit on the couch and listen to our baby.

So far everyone has told me I'm having a girl. And when I say everyone, I'm including people that I don't even know. We just bought a car- a 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe- to be exact. We did so because we have a company car that the car seat won't fit in and that is so small I don't feel comfortable with the safety, and we have a two seater truck that will not fit two adults and a car seat. So we ventured out on a day of car scouting. We test drove a Toyota 4Runner that I was totally sold on, but we wanted to check out a couple different cars. We then go to the BMW dealership. This then makes me feel incredibly poor. haha As we are sitting at our representative's desk, directly behind us is a $97,000 convertible something-or-other- in other words a NICE and EXPENSIVE car. We start looking at our options and he shows us a truck. I tell him that we need a little more room than that truck can provide. In true car salesmenship fashion, he continues pushing the issue of the truck. And with the way that I am, the thought automatically popped in my head- "Didn't I just tell him that we don't want the truck? Does he think I'm stupid or does he just not want to sell us a car today?" I am a pushover on some things, but if I tell you no and you push the issue I am not a happy cookie. I told him again that I had just said that that is not what we were looking for. He told me that he was going to go get the key so we could test drive it. I then blurted out, I'm having a baby this summer so we need something bigger for a carseat and stroller and all the baby stuff to fit in. He finally stopped pushing the truck and says "well congratulations! It's going to be a girl, I can tell." This man, who I JUST met randomly knows that I'm going to have a girl? It doesn't seem to far fetched seeing as all of my friends, family, coworkers, and everyone else wants me to have a girl. So on January 8th, 2011 we will find out! I've been trying to think of a cute way to break the news but I think I will just be so excited that I will end up just blurting it out. After all, that's what I did when we found out we were pregnant. I just called everyone and told them. Not cute or fun, but I was SO excited. My dream was finally coming true!

As Christmas approaches, I think about all of the family's with their kids waking up bright and early and rushing to open presents. I think about reading stories, drinking hot chocolate and sitting with loved ones around the fire. And as I think about all of these wonderful things, it is starting to hit me that this is my last Christmas of just Brian and me. Next Christmas we will have a little 5 month old to dress up in hilarious Christmas outfits that will embarrass them down the road. haha I'm just looking forward to having my little family all together. Now only if we could have Izzy and Vini with us as well. Maybe one day we will live close enough to get to have holidays consistently with them. But until now, I am praising God for the blessings that He has poured and continues to pour out on my family. I have a wonderful, loving, handsome husband who loves me. I have two beautiful step kids who melt my heart and who truly are a blessing. I have a little one on the way that has been my dream for a long time. I have an adorable puppy that I can dress up in ridiculous outfits. And I have food on my table, a bed to sleep in, a roof over my head, and an awesome support group. I AM BLESSED.


Love and Kisses!!!!

Kayla Jo