Dry Spells?

Thankful November Day 27: God's faithfulness

I have had some things on my mind and since I needed a Day 27 thankful post, I figured this was the perfect time to write about it. And boy am I really thankful for God's faithfulness. As I look through my life I can see the thread of His presence. I can see His hand working in the people, places and experiences that I sometimes did not agree with. It helps to look back at the past to help me buffer the present circumstances. I can have an experience I didn't like but remember how God has brought me through other obstacles and then just like that I have a positive outlook on an otherwise bleek situation.

I have been listening to Shane and Shane non-stop. Like seriously, on repeat constantly in my car. Shane and Shane = God's gift of talent and pure God-fearing hearts. One of their songs "Praise Him" has good lyrics and of course in true Shane and Shane style, good harmonies. This morning I was hormonizing my little heart out and then the Holy spirit moved me to soften my voice and listen. And I heard these lyrics:

"Everyone who's on a mountain
Everyone in the driest place
Praise Him, Praise Him"

I had to be silent and just let those words sink in. It is easy to forget to thank God when we are on the mountain top and everything is going good. It is easy to continue with life and get wrapped up in the children, husband, animals, work, responsibilities, etc. and forget that God is the one blessing us with all of this and He deserves our praise. Plus, how much more happy can you be when you are at the feet of God praising Him? I have found nothing that compares. But it's the second line that I kinda got stuck on. "Everyone in the driest place." I can remember just a few days ago for a split second wondering if my prayers were just hitting the ceiling or if God was really listening. Sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to myself. Sometimes I long so much for communion with God but I open my Bible and I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I feel like I am just in a dry place where no one can hear me. Sometimes I sit and wait for Him to talk but I allow the world to close in and give me directives. Sometimes I listen and I don't hear anything at all. Sometimes I feel that I love God so much but I don't know how to show it or I can't feel/receive love from Him.

As I was contemplating these thoughts and struggles, I thought about Gary Chapman and his book, The Five Love Languages. I know for a fact that my primary love language is touch. My "love meter" goes up more when I am in a huge embrace from my Granny than when she tells me that she loves me or that I'm beautiful. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing that too and I think it is necessary in a good relationship for all of the love languages to be present, but I know that what really gets to my core is touch. So my question...how does that work with my relationship with God?

During the marriage conference by Dr. Chapman that I attended a couple weeks ago, he said that he has been studying this very thing. I imagine that is what stirred up these thoughts to begin with. He said that statistically those people who's love language is Quality Time received salvation when they were alone and praying to God. He said that often times people who's love language is Physical Touch will explain their conversion story as one with weeping and some say they felt shivers all over their body or some other physical connection. I can remember weeping and I can remember a distinct feeling coming over me that a boulder had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was very real and very much God's arms over me. With that being said, I can't help but wonder how this ties in. Do I sometimes feel this disconnect because I can't get a physical connection?

*Disclaimer: I am in NO way making excuses for these "dry spell" experiences. I believe that what the Bible says is true and states:

Psalm 33:4 "For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does."

Psalm 139:7-10 "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast"

I know that God is always present and desires to have a relationship with His children. But I promised to be transparent so that's what I am trying to do with expressing how I feel.*

Usually by the time I gather my thoughts I have done some sort of research or have some sort of answer, but this time I guess I'm just trying to not lose this lead. This lead of growing a closer, deeper relationship with my Abba. I want to commune with Him. I want my approach to His presence to be pleasing to Him. I want to feel His love and give Him love in return without any doubts or second thoughts ever. I love the Lord. I am so thankful for His presence in my life. I am so thankful for the blessings He has poured out on my life. I am awed by His glory and the incredible sacrifice that He made for me. For me. As Jason says, I AM the worst sinner I know. But Jesus, perfect as He is, took the blame for me and my sins. Of course I want to show Him love. He has ALWAYS been faithful. But I feel like I fall so short of giving Him the praise, honor, glory and love that He deserves.

So my question remains the same...and before I ask it again I will say, I know God loves me. I know the truth in the Bible and I do feel His presence. But I'm just thinking that maybe someone with the Quality Time love language would feel God's love more. Or someone with the love language of Words of Affirmation...I mean, goodness! They have it made! The Bible is FULL of love letters to God and from God to US! Am I just overanalyzing this? Does any of this even make sense?

I'm not sure yet, but I am excited to find out. It's just another quest in seeking and loving the Lord. It can only end in goodness. :)

God is good. God is faithful. God is perfect. God is loving.
Despite my circumstances. God is love. Pure, sacrificial, agape love.

Thankful November Days 24-26: Transportation, Mail, Christmas

Thankful November Day 24: Transportation

I'm glad I don't have to walk everywhere. I really do like walking and I think that America would be less obese without so many ways to be lazy, but it is nice to not have to ride a horse across country for months and months. I can get to Colorado in a couple hours. I can drive from Pearland to Kemah in just 45 minutes instead of having to walk for hours to get here. I am so thankful for my car with A/C and music to help pass the drive time. I am so thankful for boats to go skiing, tubing and pontooning (floatin in slow motion) and fishing. I mean, I have only been fishing a handful of times and don't really consider it a hobby but I can if I want to. I'm just REALLY REALLY thankful for my car, honestly.

Day 25: Mail

Here's the mail, it never fails.
It makes me want to wag my tail.
When it comes I want to wail - Mail!
Oh, Blues Clues...

I love getting mail. I love getting packages in the mail...for me or Ryot, I don't care. I don't even care if its junk mail. I just like opening the mail box and seeing that I have stuff to look through. I think it's the fact that it is something new in my repititive day to day activities. Of course I like getting personalized mail, but anything in that little metal slot with my name on it is fantastic.

Day 26: Christmas

I love Christmas. I love the lights, the trees, the Christmas carols, the colors, the sparkles, the cheer, the gratitude, the elfs, the reindeers, the snowmen, the jingle bells, the hot chocolate, the fireplace fires, the warm blankets, the cuddling, the misteltoe, the get togethers, the presents, the festive treats, the traditions, the smiles, the cold weather, the different smells, and so so so much more.

My FAVORITE thing about Christmas is that Jesus was born. This is not "Xmas" and I do not say Happy Holidays. It is the day that Jesus was born into the world. A great King introduced to us in a manger.

I won't really expound on this because I'm sure December will be full of Christmas rants and raves. But I am SO thankful for Christmas!

Thankful November Days 22-23: good company and sleep

Thankful November Day 22: Good company

I am so thankful for good friends and company to surround myself with. I had a blast at Chtistelle's house with friends and family. I even got to talk to Granny for a little bit until Ryot's decided to face plant into the kitchen tile. Poor baby. It was nice to talk about football and family and just relax. I don't get to do that often so it was a lot of fun. I even went into a football bet which was a lot of fun. Las Vegas taught me that football is even more fun to watch when you are invested in the game. I was in the final three on the list which was fun for me. Ryot was being so goo and everyone was kind to her even when she was getting in the way. It was great to be able to relax an enjoy the day.

Day 23: sleep

I have never been a night person. When I was in middle school, I used to come home sick from sleepovers because I wouldn't get enough sleep. In high school when I would hang out with friends sometimes the reason I would miss curfew was that I fell asleep at Vanessa or Shay's house. I'm just not good at the late night hours. I think I actually have some sort of chemical imbalance or something because I couldn't stay awake all night even If I tried. One of my favorite times in the day is getting in my pjs and curling up in bed on my hubby's chest. The only problem is I wake up usually between 3-5 times a night. Last night I fell asleep at 930pm and I woke up at 1030, 1215, 350 and 630. Didn't have to pee, just woke up. Fun huh? So I am very thankful for the times I do get to sleep. I'm thankful for sweet rest. :) now, who wants some coffee?

Thankful November Days 19-21: My Bible Sundays and Mystery of God's Will

Thankful November Day 19- My Bible

I believe that the Bible is God's word. I believe that everything in the Bible is true. I believe that there is nothing in the Bible that contradicts itself. I believe that even though I don't understand all of it, God's plan is woven through every passage. Since I believe all of this, how can I not be thankful? I have the very words of the Almighty God in my grasp. So so thankful for this precious gift.

Day 20- Sundays

I am really thankful for Sundays. I look forward to going to church to praise God, read in the Bible and fellowship with other believers. It so uplifting to be in the presence of God and like-minded people. I often times struggle with the "rest" part of Sundays but I'm getting better at making it a time to rejuvenate for the rest of the week. It's easier to remember when I think about spiritual warfare. I need to be prepared to give a good witness and testimony throughout the week. Sundays definitely help with that.

Day 21- Mystery of God's Will

Supposedly, exactly a month from today the world is going to end. Just like supposedly in the year 2000 all of the computers were supposed to crash. I'm not worried about it because if the world does end I know that I will be in the presence of God and with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for eternity in glory and I'm so excited for that day!

Another reason I'm not worried about it is this:
Mark 13: 31-32 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

God has the whole world spinning in His timing. And I am SO thankful for this mystery! I think about all of these people who whole-heartedly believe the world is ending. They are so stressed and worried. I don't have to be stressed. I'm thankful for this mystery because God is in control. I'm thankful that I don't have to know the ends and outs of how life works. What a stress that would be!

Ronan: Raising Awareness

My heart is so burdened this morning. I can't even write about what I'm thankful for because all I'm thankful for right now is my family being alive and healthy. Below is some information/statistics I got from The Ronan Thompson Foundation. Please read and pray about raising awareness and donating to fight this horrible mass murderer called Cancer.

*There are 15 children diagnosed with cancer for every one child diagnosed with pediatric AIDS. Yet, the U.S. invests approximately $595,000 for research per victim of pediatric AIDS and only $20,000 for each victim of childhood cancer.

*The National Cancer Institute’s (NCI) federal budget was $4.6 billion. Of that, breast cancer received 12%, prostate cancer received 7%, and all 12 major groups of pediatric cancers combined received less than 3%.

*The American Cancer spends less than 70 cents of each 100 dollars raised on childhood cancer.

*Cancer kills more children than any other disease, more than Asthma, Cystic Fibrosis, Diabetes and Pediatric AIDS combined.

*Sadly, over 2,300 children with cancer die each year.

*Every school day 46 children are diagnosed.

*1 in 330 children will have the disease by age 20.

*Cancers in very young children are highly aggressive and behave unlike malignant diseases at other times in life.

*80% of children have metastasized cancer at the time of their diagnosis. At diagnosis, only 20% of adults with cancer show evidence that the disease has spread or metastasized.

*Detecting childhood cancers at an early stage, when the disease would react more favorably to treatment, is extremely difficult.

*Cancer symptoms in children – fever, swollen glands, anemia, bruises and infection – are often suspected to be, and at the early stages are treated as, other childhood illnesses.

*Even with insurance coverage, a family will have out-of pocket expenses of about $40,000 per year, not including travel.

*Treatment can continue for several years, depending on the type of cancer and the type of therapy given.


As you can see donating to The American Cancer Society does not go towards childhood cancer like it should. Parents should not have to bury their children. We have to raise awareness and get the funding to help these precious children! Please read Maya's Blog Rockstar Ronan. Please help spread the word.

I am so so so so thankful for my sweet angel Ryot. I am so thankful I get to hug her and kiss her sweet cheeks. Don't take one single day for granted!

Thankful November Days 14-18: Behind the curve!

Thankful November Day 14 - Pictures

"Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still." - Dorothea Lange

I love taking pictures. I have loved taking pictures since I can remember. I want to capture every moment. I want Ryot to have pictures of us together I want to be able to show her pictures of when she was little. I love capturing the posed and the unposed. I am a definite Mamarazzi. Looking at pictures gives me an experience kindred to the Butterfly Effect. No, I'm not trasported back in time and altering the future, but it is like I get to experience it all over again. Yes, I look at the bad hair or clothing style. I look at the weight changes, some I'm happy with and some I'm not. I am my worst critic. But most of the time I can just remember the memory and smile that I got to experience such fun and precious moments.

Day 15 - Blankets

I am so thankful for blankets. Even if it is hot outside, there is something amazing about being wrapped up in blankets like a cacoon.

Ok, maybe not like that. I do have to admit, however, that one of my favorite times of the day is to crawl in bed with a heap of blankets consuming me while laying on my hubby's chest. Ah, only 73 more days until this can once again be my reality.

Day 16 - Being Clean

I am so grateful for personal hygiene products and showers. This one made the list because I really am thankful for it and I realize that some don't know what a great gift and luxury this is. When you spend hours, days and weeks of your life with someone who has never heard of deodorant, you will really begin to appreciate it. I'm thankful my husband has good hygiene too. No smelly BO to deal with. :) for that I am truly thankful to God for such a bleesing. The only thing that I can say on this that might be weird is I don't like the actual "act" of getting clean. I don't like taking a shower and having to do my hair and make up and getting ready. I don't like the feeling of wet hair on my shirt. I don't like being cold then warm in the shower then back to being cold when I get out. But these are all first world problems that really don't bother me. Just not my favorite thing ever. But I DO love being clean and looking and smelling pretty. Don't worry, there's no bad BO here.

Day 17- Seasons

I am so thankful for different seasons. It is funny to me that when it has been cold for a couple months, or weeks depending on where you live, we are wishing that it would warm up. However, when it is warm for "long enough" we are wishing for it to be cooler. Then we spend the Spring and Fall months sick because of the weather changes. haha! MY favorite season is definitely summer. I don't consider myself "fashioable" and the different scarves, accessories, and boots are all a bit overwhelming to me. I very much prefer a cute sundress and flip flops. Or a tank top, jeans and flip flops. Or a swimsuit and flip flops. Pretty much anything with flip flops. I don't mind that it gets really hot. I'm not a big fan of the humidity, but I don't mind the heat at all.

I am so thankful for the changing of the seasons. I think it gives us a variety smells, sights, feelings, etc. I know that it is a blessing from God in a very repetitive world. I am thankful for the cold becuase it helps me appreciate the heat more.

Day 18 - Technology

I am so grateful for advanced technology. I can write in this blog. I can talk to my friends on my cell phone. I can listen to music in my car or while I'm running. I can skype with my family and see my husband's face while we are apart. I can take pictures to preserve memories. I can record Ryot's faces and movements and singing to watch at a later time. I can watch a movie when I want to chill. I can listen to the radio while I clean my house. Life would be a bit dull without all of these perks.


So yes, I was a bit behind the curve. Heaven forbid life get in the way. :) I am working on Day 19 as you read this! It's a good one so I want to put a lot of thought into it. Love and kisses!

Thankful November Day 13 - Music

Thankful November Day 13 - Music

I can play the piano. Not very well, but I could get better if I practiced. Part 2 of my child-hood was filled with talented musicians. My cousins are very talented musicians playing the flute, piccolo, drums and other percussion, piano, guitar and of course the infamou RECORDER. haha Some of my fondest memories were singing with my slew of sisters. Picking the song or making up a song, ranging harmonies or a steady melody, we had so much fun. I don't know what it is about music but it always had a way of speaking to me so much deeper than regular words, lectures or poetry ever could. I don't view myself as a talented musician, but I really enjoy myself and I think that is what is important anyway.

I don't know what your "great escape" is. It might be a secluded forrest with all the trees and creature surrounding you. It might be with a view of the snow-covered mountains and crisp morning air. For me, it is sinking my toes into the sand and hearing the waves crash and the birds enjoying their day. When I hear good music, it just transports me to another place. I hear the beginning measures of "Gravity" by John Mayer and I can feel the sand between my toes. I hear Jack Johnson's "Banana Pancakes" and I can feel the breeze to my back. I listen to the Yanni's masterful composing and it literally takes me to a place where I can hear the waves gliding across the sand.

I have always felt a special connection to music. I know that it is an incredible blessing and I am so grateful. When I am being stubborn or when life gets in the way of sitting down and communing with God, He has always reached out to me through music. He plays a song and I instantly feel connected to Him. I can sing and worship Him on my way to or from work. I can have long times of prayer and praise during roadtrips. I can be folding laundry and that familiar song comes on the radio and I just get a moment where it is me and Him. Me and my Abba Father spending quality time together. It speaks directly to my heart.

Like I said before, I am not a great singer, but I LOVE to sing. I sing in the car, in the shower, at work, at home, in the grocery store, while cooking dinner, while rocking Ryot to sleep and pretty much everywhere else. There is rarely a time of the day where I don't hear some music or lyrics in my head. I have had this one song stuck in my head lately and it plays on the radio at the PERFECT moment every time. I sing at the top of my lungs even if people are staring while I'm driving or even if Ryot looks at me like I've lost my mind. It just brings me to that place of remembering how great God is. It is a song that when I hear it, immediately transports me into the presence of my living Savior and I can worship Him. It is a beautiful song by Chris Tomlin called "How can I keep from singing":

There is an endless song, echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring
And though the storms may come, I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough, how amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing!

I will lift my eyes in the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives!
And I will walk with You knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough, how amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing!

I can sing in the troubled times, sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step and I fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up, sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord, when I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know
That I'll sing with the Angels and the Saints around the throne!

How can I keep from singing Your praise?
How can I ever say enough, how amazing is Your love!
How can I keep from shouting Your name?
I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart,
I am loved by the King and it makes my heart,
I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing, yeah
I can sing

Thankful November: Day10-12: Home, Veterans(Dustin) and Coral

Thankful Novemeber Day 10 - A Home

I know this is something that I all too often take for granted. I have moved a lot...A LOT. I was born in Arizona but I don't really count this because my family located when I was only 2 weeks old. So minua Arizona when I was a wee babe, I have moved in the following pattern:

San Antonio, Tx
Niceville, Fl
Pensacola, Fl (1 semester college)
Lawton, Ok
Colorado Springs, CO (3 months)
Lawton, Ok
Niceville, Fl (1 summer)
Lawton, Ok
Las Vegas, NV
Pearland, TX
And in January I will be moving back to Colorado Springs for however long God has my family there...I'm hoping in at least a couple years!!!

I haven't really settled somewhere and felt like it was "home sweet home". I don't know if I will ever get there. I am willing to go anywhere the Lord leads so we will see what happens. For now, I am thankful for a place to rest my head at night. A place to make memories with my family. A place to decorate with my sense of "organized chaos" and major lack of real interior design. Even if it doesn't look like it is a snap shot from a magazine like my sister's beautiful home, it is my home. It is a nice place of refuge where I don't have to wear matching pants, or pants at all. It is a place I can be completely lazy or productive or exercise without anyone watching. It is my home, and I am so thankful.

Day 11 - Veterans

I will have to make this one short because no one wants to read my novel. I am so incredibley grateful for the sacrifices that our military make so that I can experience a life of freedom. I think about acquaintances, close friends and family members who selflessly serve. I think about the ones who have died fighting for a cause bigger than themselves. I think about the holidays, birthdays and special moments they miss. I think about the battle scars both physical and emotional that they endure.

I think about my brother, Dustin.

When he was deployed, I would pray every day for his safety. I would cry missing him. I would glow when I would talk about how proud of him I am. I don't know what all he went through. I don't know the depth of what it's like to be told when and where and what and how you can act or be. I don't know all of the horrible things he saw or had to do. I don't have to know or even really want to know, if I'm being honest. But I do know that I am so proud to call him my brother and so thankful for his service in the US Marine Corps.

Day 12 - My Big SistaFACE

Today is my sister's 29th birthday.......right sista??? ;) So in honor of her day of birth, today I am thankful for her!
How do I love thee?? Let me count the ways...
Ok, I'm not a poet, but I will tell you 6 of the MANY reasons why I love my big sister.
1)Her BRAINS. She is so smart. Anything I have a question about I ask her. If she doesn't know the answer she will find it. She can research ANYTHING. It's very convenient for me. So thanks, sister, for being so smart!
2)Her LAUGH. She really is funny. She doesn't tell too many jokes because Patrick usually is really witty and jumps in, but when she does it is the cutest thing in the world! She tells a joke and the explosion of laughter that follows is priceless, and really is actually funny! I love it. Thanks, sister, for making me laugh.
3)Her GIVING HEART. She is always buying things for Ryot and will surprise me with little gifts every now and then. She has helped me and my family tremendously and I don't think I can EVER pay her back. I really love her for that. She really exemplifies Jesus and an attitude of service that I admire. Thank you, sister, for your sacrifices.
4)Her MOMMYNESS. She is a GREAT mom. I learned SO much about parenting, both the highlights and struggles from her. She loves her kids and has such structure and order that provides the safe and secure environment that children need. Caedi, Sean, and Gabe amaze me everyday and it just shows the time and effort that Coral puts into shepherding their hearts and really raising them. She has the perfect balance of cool mom, loving disciplanrian, smart teacher, encouraging cheerleader, nurturing nurse and a great example of God's love.
5)Her GORGEOUSNESS. From top to bottom, she is tall, blonde, and beautiful. Even on the days that she is just wearing sweatpants, she looks good. Patrick is one lucky mister! She looks better in her pj's than I do on Sunday morning. HAHA. I don't know how she does it. She has great style (some is not my style but I admire is all the same) She can put things together and match things that I woould have never thought. Sometimes she looks like she should be on the cover of a magazine. She can do things with her hair that looks professional and she makes it look SO EASY! My poor child is lucky to have pony tails that are the same height on her head. I don't know how she does it but I'm proud (a little self-conscious sometimes, but still proud) to stand by her side. Thanks, sister, for taking pride in how you look and really taking care of your temple. You look GREAT!
This brings me to number 6)Her LOVE for the LORD. She loves the Lord. There is no doubt about it. Her faith shines through everything she does and says. She is constantly pointing me to Christ for guidance and encouraging me in the things that I feel God is calling me to do. I love the example she is of Christ's love for her kids, friends and family. She is loving, patient, encouraging, kind, sometimes the iron that sharpens iron when I need it and well-versed in scripture. She battles life's bumps with the "sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God" (Eph 6:17b)
Thank you, sister, for being a light that shines brightly for God!

Committee Meeting: The Nap Bubble

I'm still pretty sick but I went to church this morning. Ryot fell asleep on the way home so I thought I could take a nap. Now 30 minutes later I am lying in bed wide awake because of this committee meeting I just had with myself:

*lying in bed thinking about how warm an comfortable I am*
Thought process:
I love my bed.
I love these blankets. They are so warm.
But it's not the blankets that are warm, it's my body heat being contained.
The blankets are acting like an incubator trapping all of my body heat so that I am warm and cozy.
Like a bubble. I'm in a blanket bubble.
But how do bubbles work?
Like if you blow a bubble in a warm car and then it floats outside where it's cold does it stay warm or is the wall of the bubble so thin that the air is whatever temperature surrounding the bubble?

Maybe I can try to nap again later...

Thankful November Days 8 & 9: Coffee and My Job

Thankful November Day 8- Coffee

My first job was working at a grocery store when I was 15 yrs old. When they stopped working with my school schedule, I started a search for a new job. I heard that Emerald Coast Coffee (no longer in business) was hiring...but I didn't like coffee. I didn't even like the smell of coffee. When I met with the owner to interview, I flat out told her I didn't like coffee. Thinking of it now, it probably wasn't the best approach, however, I got the job. I convinced her that because I didn't like coffee, I wouldn't be drinking all of it so she was really saving money by hiring me. I told her I was a good saleswoman and people would never know that I didn't like the stuff. She bought into my hype so I got the job. Soon I was promoted to a supervisory position and running the kitchen on Saturday mornings as well. Due to this, I needed a little extra energy. I was working A LOT and going to school so 5am came shockingly early. My coworkers started me out with adding a shot to my "frappe", then when I got used to that nasty taste I added another shot. I started liking this little bean and it gave me the little kick I desired for the early morning rush of breakfast clans and coffee addicts. As it started to get colder outside, the frappe's were not as enjoyable. So I added a shot to my hot chocolate one day...BAM - Mocha addict. Loved it. I started appreciating the flavor of the coffee bean and all the different ways you can mold the flavor to meet your craving.

At this point, my love was only for latte's (espresso and steamed milk) and not regular "drip" coffee. I have to credit my love for brewed coffee to my best friend, same-size buddy, Vanessa Smokin' Hot Elizabeth Van Patten. She makes the BEST coffee that I have ever tasted in my life and I'm sure it's because she puts so much LOVE into it just for me, right Bestie?

Long story short, I am addicted to coffee and am SO thankful that it is one of the little blessings I have in life. I know it is something small but when I think about the little things that just put a smile on my face, this is definitely one of them. I have so many fond memories working at Seattle Drip with my friends, having a hot cup of coffee staring at the CO mountains in the crisp morning air and all of the meaningful conversations I have had over nice cup o' Joe with friends. I do count it as a blessing in life and am so thankful for the little things like this that add sparkle to my life.

Day 9- My Job

Yes, my love for coffee comes before my love for my job. That might be messed up but an addicts life is never easy. :)

In all honesty, I am so thankful for my job. For the first time in a VERY long time I can say that I love my job. Most of the people I work with are pleasant. MY job requirements and expectations are clearly defined. I have respect. My knowledge and capabilities are recognized and celebrated. (I'm not saying this to sound conceited although I do think it comes off this way a little bit. I am not perfect. I make plenty of mistakes, but it is really nice that my bosses recognize that I do have valuable knowledge and experience that is a good asset to the company.) My bosses and coworkers trust me. They listen to my opinion and take my suggestions sometimes. They are flexible and understand that life gets in the way. They don't micromanage. (which is why I am able to write this blog right now) These are ALL things that I am soooo grateful for. God has blessed me so much with this opportunity to gain more experience and work with some really cool people. I feel confident when I come to work. I don't dread waking up in the morning. Sure, I miss my sweet angel Ryot, but loving my job just makes me love the time I get to spend with her more. I am so so so thankful that I have a place to come where I can be ME, play my Christian uplifting music, voice my opinion, leave for lunch (sometimes) and have a uplifting, positive, happy environment to make money.

I've heard it said, "Happy employees are productive employees" and I am a VERY productive employee.

Thankful November Days 6 & 7: Emotion and Chocolate

Thankful November Day 6- Capability of Emotion

I know this seems like a vague choice but it is one I am truly thankful for everyday. I am a people watcher. No, not a stalker. I'm just interested in how people think and react to one another. One of my favorite things to do is to take my journal, some good music, a nice warm cup of coffee and sit outside with a breeze at a park and just watch the world collide. I don't get to do that anymore but thats because I am busy watching my sweet angel face light up and explore which is gratifying on a whole better level. However, when we go out to eat as a family or when I have a chance to just sit back and observe I love to see the joy, sadness, stress, laughter, professionalism, suprise and just the business of the day happen. It puts my world into a different perspective. It helps me be grateful on a daily basis.

I am thankful for laughter. My husband is the BEST. He makes me laugh EVERYDAY. I've always said that if you can get a girl to laugh, you can get her to do anything. It was one of the factors that won me over. In fact, laughter is a major component in the relationships that I have the fondest memories of. My little big Cuz has me crying-laughing almost every single time I talk to her. My Bestie, my SW, my Jelly Bean, my Angel, my kiddos, my coworkers and some other relationships have the ability to laugh at themselves and make me laugh almost every time we speak. So grateful for laughter. It brightens up my life!

I am thankful for a healthy dose of fear that keeps me safe and grounded.

I am thankful for sadness because it is motivating. It helps me release stress, motivates me to be better and do better and it puts into perspective what I AM grateful for verses what I have to live without. My heart is broken for a lost nation. My heart is broken when my daughter is sick. I feel sad sometimes when I think about my mom not being here but then it motivates me to be a better mom and give my daughter the love that I desired from my mom growing up.

I am thankful for anger because it shows my passion and helps me keep my heart in check. When I get angry I can ask myself why I am angry and if it is righteous or sinful? I get angry that abortion rampant in our generation. I get angry when some people belittle me or treat me wrong at work. Anger helps check my response to see where my heart is.

I'm thankful for emotion because it means we are LIVING. Whether we agree with the emotion. Whether we are angry, happy, afraid or in deep sorrow, we are still feeling soemthing. We have been blessed with a wide range of emotions.


Thankful November Day 7- Chocolate

Mmmmmmmm I love chocolate. I really view it as one of God's gifts to mankind. I am not going to elaborate on this subject because there really is no need to. I think that in a lot of situations for all of the emotions listed above, chocolate is the answer. Dark Chocolate, most of the times, White Chocolate, rarely, but either way, CHOCOLATE. I love it. Brownies, chocolate candy, chocolate syrup, chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, chocolate icing, chocolate ice cream, chocolate eclairs and other pastries, chocolate shakes and malts, chocolate cheesecake and so on. It's delicious and life would be rather dull without it. I hope I don't randomly develop an allergy to the stuff, I would probably cry.

On that note, I'm going to go home and try to find something in my pantry that is choccolate and devour it. Good night!

I don't know!!!!!!!

I'm at the point now where I think im doing everything 'right' with the right motives and I'm taking the necessary precautions. And still nothing is changing and I'm thinking 'ok, God, what am I supposed to learn or change or do so that we can get over this mountain. I will do anything if youjust show me what it is.' so I guess I just wait. Feel better sweet Ryot. I wish there was more I could do! It breaks my heart that you aren't feeling well. I love you so much.

Thankful Nov Days 3-5:Children, Freedom & Health

Thankful November Day 3

I am so thankful for my children. We have a beautiful daughter, Ryot, who is 17 months old (tomorrow) and she lights up our life. She is our little miracle baby and I thank God for every moment we get blessed by her in our lives.

Then we are so blessed with Izzy and Vini. Izzabell is my spirited 8 year old step daughter. She is our susperstar. She sings all the time and is a leader. Everywhere we go she makes new "best friends" that follow her around. She has a kind heart, a giving spirit and is turning into a beautiful little diva! Vincint my charming 6 yr old stepson. He is so smart and so organized. He likes things a certain way and it is so cool to see the little wheels in his head turning when he figures out how something works. I remember bribing him a dollar to take his hat off for a picture to show his mohawk off. He is just so cool and knows it! He is going to be very rich one day. haha. I can't wait until we are in Colorado and get to be a bigger part of their lives. We love you so much Izzy and Vini!

Thankful November Day 4

I am so thankful for my freedom. I have freedom to worship the Lord, read His word, and speak freely what I believe. I read stories of foreign countries that don't have the ability to workship freely. It is so convicting to see their passion for the Lord. How do we not have the same passion when it is all readily available? How many people would be devastated and outraged if that freedom was taken away? All the more reason for us to use the time and opportunities we have to worship, seek and share the Lord! I know this is something that I am convicted of on a daily basis. Thank you Lord for my freedom.

Thankful November Day 5

I am thankful for my health. Now, I can tell you stories of weird seizure activity in 2008, Mono w/Labrynthitus, migraines, PCOS, endometriosis, preeclampsia, emergency C-sections, emergency Cholecystectomy (gall bladder removal), problems with my low-resting heart rate and other things that have "gone wrong" in my life. I have stories to tell and I have gone through some pretty painful stuff. But I am able to walk, talk, laugh, grow, understand, enjoy my children, breathe, think, see, hear, taste, feel and carry through life on a day to day basis with generally no pain. Sure I have bad days with my heart beating funny or my stomach hurting, but I'm alive. I get to spend time with my husband, children and other loved ones. I get to run and work out. I get to play with Ryot. I get to chase Izzy and Vini at the playground. I get to feel their kisses and hugs. I get to enjoy being outside with them. I get to experience life. For that, I am so thankful.


Today I am loving seeing my friends and family posting things about what they are thankful for. So far, it's all the obvious things in the range that I have posted. The things that matter....that is, of course, except for ZacAttack who is thankful for soft toilet paper. But then I guess that is his FREEDOM to be thankful for whatever he wants...and since I am thankful for freedom, more power to you brother!

Thankful November, Day 1 & 2

The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
- Henry Ward Beecher

Thankful November makes me feel guilty. It all goes back to the head to heart disconnect I so often deal with. In my head I think that I should be thankful all the time and it doesn't compute to me why I forget. In my heart I feel guilty and know that sometimes I just get wrapped up in stress about life and forget to be thankful for what I have. So I am not going to feel guilty about not being as thankful as I should. I'm just going to start now and continue this pattern of thankfulness throughout the next year. And WHEN I fail to be thankful, because I will, I must simply recognize my failure, turn over my imperfect heart to God and start fresh. It wouldn't be grace if we deserved a second chance. So this brings me to Day 1 AND Day 2 of Thankful November.

DAY 1 - My Salvation
I don't even know where to beign except to say that I am beyond humbled and blessed and thankful for my amazing God who saw fit to have mercy on me. I have never experienced more love, satisfaction and true joy than in His presence. My life is forever changed all because of Jesus. All the things that I stress me out, all the things that I worry about, all the things that make me mad, sad, happy, fearful, etc can all be given to God and in His sovereignty "all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

I remember that first moment. I remember when I called out to God. Actually at the time it was more out of necessity, reverance and fear of the Almighty God than a sweet love for Him. I remember that night very well. At this point I had been living with my Aunt and Uncle for 2 years in San Antonio, TX. (Side Note: I always thought I was 12, but we lived in San Antonio only until I was 10 so I had to have been 10.) I remember we were talking about death, what happens when you die and seeing all our loved ones again someday. I remember that time stopped in that moment. Was my mom in heaven? or hell? Was I ever going to get to see her again? I remember thinking that I didn't want to go to hell, but I knew I deserved it. I remember crying so hard and begging God to have mercy on me. (probably not in those words, but in that general mindset) I remember knowing in that instant that I was loved and cherished and chosen. I remember not being scared of hell anymore. I remember not being concerned about seeing my mom again at that point because I knew that I wasn't going to hell and that was what mattered. It was the happiest, most perfect day of my life...the day that God got a hold of my heart and made me His child. Thank you, Abba Father. I love you.


DAY 2 - My Husband
He's funny. He's smart. He's handsome. He's charming. He's a great dancer. He is witty. He is knowledgeable in all movies and music. He loves his kids. He's a mastermind poker player. He is a great leader. He has good style...most of the time. He is caring. He is strong. He is sexy. He is my personal heater. He is my adorable sleepy robot.

I turned around in my seat that day and saw his smile; His dimples melted me to a puddle of mush. A few weeks later he turned up the music, pulled me out of the car one evening and danced with me in the middle of the parking lot. A few weeks later he tucked my hair behind my ear, kissed me and told me he found what he had been looking for. A few months later he got down on one knee with shaky hands and the sweetest smile and told the British couple next to us that he was "going to marry this girl" and asked "will you"? A couple months later we said "I do" with a very grumpy old man and a simple white sun dress and flip flops. A year and a half later we welcomed our miracle into the world, sweet Ryot. Almost a year later our marriage was rocked in the worst way and over the months God saw us through and gave me the answer to my prayer for so many years with Brian's salvation. (PRAISE GOD) A couple months later God drew Brian even closer to His side and revealed to us our purpose as a couple and individuals with the call to ministry. Now we are waiting patiently once again to be reunited and to be able to dive head first into the next chapter of our lives together. The important thing being that we are TOGETHER and following God's will for our lives. Hence, one of our songs, "Better Together" by Jack Johnson.

I love my Savior. I love my husband. I am blessed.