Chicken and Wild Rice

On a normal day, the chicken and rice that I had for lunch would be delicious! As I force myself to eat the protein and nutrients, I think of better easier days when I actually enjoyed eating. But then as I think of those better easier days, I think about the REASON I am having so much trouble eating- my little peanut! Sure before it was easier, but before I didn't have this miracle. I didn't have this precious child growing inside of me and taking from me its nutrients. Before I didn't have anyone to think about but myself. Oh how grateful I am to be blessed with this perfect, wonderful little being! Even if it means that food is gross. Even if it means I'm in a little pain or discomfort. It's so worth it!!!!

I went to visit my friend Priscilla in the hospital when she had her baby. I'm used to my stepdaughter and stepson who are 6 and 4yrs old. I'm used to my niece and nephews who are 4 and 2 yrs old. I'm used to my boss' son who is 7yrs old. But it's easy to forget how little newborns are. It was amazing. I got to see Priscilla and Josh's little miracle- Erin Rachel. She was stretching, and moving her little fingers while she was sleeping. She would wince at the bright lights and respond fondly to voices. She was beautiful. Now, I am the first person to say that most newborns, boy or girl, look like little old men. They are wrinkly and squishy and look like little old men! But Erin is beautiful. She has a FULL head of hair and the cutest little button nose.

I have never been nervous around little kids. I usually am in a little "mini-heaven" surrounded by their smiles, laughter, and many other expressions. I wasn't nervous holding Erin. I only held her for a short period of time, but I wasn't nervous. I got a little nervous after I put her back in the little bed at the hospital because I was thinking- this is going to be me in 6 months. 6 months...only half of a year....and this was going to be looking at my little one. Brian and I will be looking at the features and marveling at the stretching and expressions of our child....OUR child. Thinking about it just sent a little chill up my spine. It was more of anticipation than it was being nervous, but still the feeling was there.

Priscilla is letting me borrow 2 of her baby books for Brian and I to go through. One is of course the famous What to expect when you're expecting, and the other is a baby name book with all of the meanings. We find out if it is a boy or a girl in just 2 weeks and 3 days. I think it will be easier to start focusing on names as soon as we find out the gender. Then there will only be 50,000 names to go through instead of 100,000. lol. It's just getting more and more real everyday. Ya know what I mean? I know I can't feel the kicks and movements yet, but I know that there is a miracle taking place in our lives with this little one.

So even though I can't enjoy Chicken and Wild Rice, I will forever enjoy that pitter patter heart beat that brings me to tears every time. I can't wait to meet you little precious one.

Love and Kisses,

Kayla Taylor