Mr. Crankypants

It is a morning ritual that I go outside with Brian in the morning when he smokes. (I don't approve of his smoking FYI) I do, however, enjoy spending this couple of minutes with him in the morning. It is a wonderful way to get the day going if I may say so myself. This morning was quite different than the others. As we are outside talking about our days and about Brian's last poker adventure, this old man (who I am calling Mr Crankypants) walked up the sidewalk. When people walk by I usually say hello and they say it back and keep walking...but he stopped. Then he randomly started talking about some people that lived in an apartment by us and how they left the place a mess. He said there were always roaches and the place was trashed. Then he started talking about how the maintenance people at the apartments never fix anything. He was bragging about how he called the office to cuss them out. Then his conversation moved on to talking about kids. (I say HIS conversation because he didn't stop talking long enough for Brian and I to respond lol) His take on kids was quite shocking to me. He said that they are messy and demanding and destructive. (which I believe are all true for kids at some point) He talked about how there was a family who had 6 fat "rugrats" who lived near him who were terrible. Supposedly they were so fat that they climbed up a tree and broke the branches. Normally I am so annoyed by people like this. I am generally a positive person. I see the glass half full 99% of the time, and I enjoy life being like that. But I wasn't annoyed at Mr. Crankypants. I was laughing so hard. I guess it's just the way he was saying things. It was like he was that old cranky man in the movies who is sitting on his front lawn yelling at the "rugrats" to GET OFF MY LAWN! lol But the next thing he said really disturbed me. In his rant about hating kids, he said that he has 2 daughters that he hasn't seen or spoken to in 30 years. He said that he doesn't even care to see them and he wouldn't take them back even if they were homeless. He said he wouldn't even pay a dime for them. And it just broke my heart. I can't imagine ever thinking that about Ryot. I mean, I don't have a relationship with my dad, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't talk about me like that. I mean, golly Mr. Crankypants! I'm sure with feelings this strong you knew you didn't want to have kids, so why have 2?!?! It just doesn't make sense. He talked about how he loves his cats and almost teared up telling us about how he had to put 2 of them down because they had cancer. I just don't understand how anyone can love their cats more than their own kids? It just made me feel sorry for him. It made me wonder about his story. I believe that every person is born likeable and it is the growing up that does the tainting of that personality. People react differently to every curve that life throws at him. Every person has the choice to which path they take. Everyone has a story...even Mr. Crankypants.

Losing my marbles

I don't have very many memories with my dad but the other day as I was looking for my keys for the 17th time that day I was reminded of a very good one. I used to visit my dad for a week at a time. Sometimes in the summer, sometimes for winter. One morning I woke up early...as usual...and he was up already. He asked me if I wanted to go with him to get breakfast from McDonalds. Adoring anything I got to do with my Dad, I said yes. I remember the whole way there we were laughing and listening to country music, having so much fun. We got to McDonalds, ordered food, paid for the food, and drove away. On the way back we were laughing again, listening to music and talking about anything and everything until it hit me. I interrupted him, "Wait Dad, Where's our food?!" He instantly did a very illegal u-turn, and we headed back to McDonalds to get the food we had ordered and paid for. I remember that was the hardest I had laughed in a long time. We waited through the drive-thru again and when we got back to the window, they had it waiting for us. Yep, definitely a good memory.

Lately I feel the same feeling. When I'm leaving the house I don 't even have the "I'm forgetting something" thought. I leave, drive away, and don't even realize that I have forgotten my wallet or the baby wipes, or whatever else until I am halfway or all the way to my destination. When I was pregnant, I could blame pregnancy brain. And now that I had her, I can say she took some of my brain cells? I don't know. Either way I feel like I'm losing my marbles!!!

just rambling on...

Lately I have been going to the gym when Brian gets home from work. I have been able to sweat some stress out and get some mommy alone time. I love my little girl, but it is nice to have some time to gather my wits. I haven't lost any more weight, but I am positive that things will improve. I have a wedding to prepare for! Not my own, but my friends. I'm a bridesmaid so I have a beautiful dress to fit in. The dress that she picked out is AMAZING so I want my body to be better so I look just as amazing as the dress. : )

I am a list maker. I make lists of everything. I make lists of the lists that I need to make. OCD much? yes, sometimes. I just like the feeling of crossing something off my list. It motivates me to get things done faster. I have already started my list for this weekend. So far, it includes items such as cleaning, organizing,cleaning out my car, re-doing my budget, going to the pool, working out, and print out pictures to scrapbook. If I could convince my husband to go to the park with me I would. BUT it has been over 100 everyday and my poor Colorado man can't stand the heat. Maybe I will take Emma to the park myself. 

I am so excited to go to Colorado in September. When I see them, it will have been 11 months since the last time. That is way too long. Brian, of course, got to take trips to see them, but I was pregnant so I couldn't travel. I wish that I could say I had a great relationship with their mom and everything is easy...but that is definitely not the case. It is more along the lines of....she hates me...and the baby. But such is life for me. It's not easy, but I wouldn't have it ant other way. Izzy and Vini are amazing. They are smart and strong and beautiful. Their laughter is contagious and my life wouldn't be as wonderful without them. I can't wait for Ryot to meet her big sister and brother. I can't wait for them to have a relationship. I can't wait until Ryot gets a little bit older so she understands when we talk about them...but all in due time.

Well, I will conclude my ramblings for today.....

Later gator...

Kayla Jo

no decisions?

I'm trying a new church tomorrow. I like the church I've been going to. I have no complaints about the people or the place itself. Everyone is really nice and laid back. I feel like everyone that I have met that goes there has a genuine love for God and their fellow believers. Why the change then? There isn't a decision time. I know this sounds small...but I think it's really big. I mean, when you walk in the music is blaring. So loud that I wont sit in the main room because if it hurts my ears I KNOW that it isn't good for Ryot. The songs are current and there are huge screens to see the words. Then there is a time for the offering usually while there is a video about some topic pertaining to current events at the church or what the topic of the sermon is. Then there is the sermon. I haven't heard the senior pastor speak yet because he is out of town but all of the guest speakers have been great. I feel like they are knowledgeable and that they have a passion about what they are talking about. My only issue with the church is that there is no decision time. There is no time for those who want to join the church or make a profession of their faith. There is no time to challenge the people. The sermon ends, and everyone gets up and leaves. Maybe I'm old fashioned. Maybe I'm just used to the Rocky Bayou way of doing things...but i think that time is so important. What if there is a person who wants to talk more about salvation? the sermon ends and that person goes home instead of being urged to pray and talk to someone more. Now, I know that if God has called someone, that they don't have to be in church, but I think that that is part of the reason for the church. It is a gathering of people - a fellowship of like minded people who should be there to support each other and encourage each other in the word. Maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe I'm honing on in this because I haven't found that church family yet. But there is a part of me that is really bothered by this. I just think that there are so many missed opportunities by cutting that portion of the service out. I don't think that a church needs to badger people into coming forward...but giving them the opportunity, encouragement, and support to ask questions is an important part!

I don't think this would weigh so heavy on my mind if it wasn't important. So tomorrow, Warm Springs Baptist Church here I come!