Per aspera ad astra

I don't know where to start in order to explain this, so I will just say God is good. No, God is beyond good. He is great and perfect and loving and omnipresent.

Today was a whirlwind of emotions and decisions completely facilitated by God. Some people say fate or luck, but this was definitely God's blessing. Through the whole day, God closed several doors and opened several more doors and windows of opportunity. In other words, Brian is coming to Houston....tomorrow.

Deep breath.

This is not what I expected or what I had planned, but I know that God has His hand and blessing on this situation. I know that this is where we are supposed to be. I know this is what we are supposed to be doing. Is it scary? yes! Is it exciting at the same time? yes! Do I want my husband home? yes! Am I emotionally, mentally, physically ready? No. But I think thats the point. I have to rely completely on God for his wisdom and strength. Before today my plan was to wait a couple months and prepare myself for him to come home. Prepare the house so that it was presentable. Prepare my heart so that I was ready for the next challenge of repairing our marriage. Prepare my body by getting back in shape so that I feel confident. But I can't lean on my own strength. If I was seriously waiting for my heart to be mended for us to be together again then I would have been waiting forever. Apart from Christ I am nothing. Apart from the healing power of the Holy Spirit, I can't heal or be ready for any challenges. I have to rely completely on God.

So that is what I am doing. God is in control and has made this happen in ways that I can not understand. Everything just happened in such perfect unison. Praise the Lord! I know that this is just the beginning of a very long road, but I also know that God is going to be glorified in our lives. I am trusting in his wisdom and following His lead.

In exactly 24 hours from now, I will be at an airport waiting to see Brian. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, happy, terrified and most of all BLESSED. Through the craziness of the last 4 months, this is my hope and my goal...that my life will be a testimony to the redemption and salvation of the merciful and righteous God. He deserves all the glory and honor and praise.

1 Peter 1:3-9 sums everything up so perfectly!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.