Tomorrow I may hurt, but today joy will be my song.

Thank you Lord for your revelations! He doesn't have to reveal himself to me but he does and I am so humbled!

I heard a song on the radio this morning that shed a little more light to me regarding my previous post. It's a beautiful song by Bebo Norman. I was listening to it thinking about giving my situation and feelings to God. I had already heard the chorus once before and even sang along. But the second time around I was at a stop light and turned it up to really listen to the lyrics:

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

I just started thinking about my life and various situations in a different light...in His light. Yesterday I was asking what I believe are all still valid questions. I was confused where the fine line was drawn between being joyful in Christ and feeling the pain that life sometimes brings. I do think it's ok to feel and hurt and mourn the loss of something beautiful. Especially if it is something as valuable and sacred as marriage. But it was at this moment that I realized where that line really was drawn.

And before I elaborate, let me just add this disclaimer...although my opinion is somewhat of an addition AND contradiction to my thoughts yesterday, I don't think that I was necessarily wrong yesterday. I think the Holy Spirit reveals things in the Lord's timing and not our own. I think that I can have the view I had yesterday and be just as "right" as I am today. So anyways...back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Today when I heard "I will lift my eyes to the Healer of the hurt I hold inside", I heard it a little bit differently than usual. When I heard the chorus the first time I thanked God for being the Healer in my times of sorrow and brokenness. And when I heard it the second time, I heard how the lyrics were arranged. It doesn't say "I will lift my eyes to the Healer of the hurt that happens to me.", it says the "hurt I hold inside". So yesterday my thought process was wrong and right. I do think I'm allowed to feel pain and hurt and anger but then I have to let it go. I can't hold on to it or dwell on it. Yes, it is fine to hurt but when it gets to the point that I am holding on to the hurt, that is when the line is crossed and I need to give it up. God has great plans for His children and those plans either won't get accomplished, will be severely delayed or compromised if we don't let go of pain, bitterness and anger in our hearts.

So today I'm letting it go. Today is a good day. I don't know what breeze tomorrow will blow my way but I don't have to worry about it. Yesterday God was faithful, today God is faithful and tomorrow He will be faithful yet again, so I am letting it all go. Tomorrow I may hurt, but today joy will be my song.