Thankful November, Day 1 & 2

The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
- Henry Ward Beecher

Thankful November makes me feel guilty. It all goes back to the head to heart disconnect I so often deal with. In my head I think that I should be thankful all the time and it doesn't compute to me why I forget. In my heart I feel guilty and know that sometimes I just get wrapped up in stress about life and forget to be thankful for what I have. So I am not going to feel guilty about not being as thankful as I should. I'm just going to start now and continue this pattern of thankfulness throughout the next year. And WHEN I fail to be thankful, because I will, I must simply recognize my failure, turn over my imperfect heart to God and start fresh. It wouldn't be grace if we deserved a second chance. So this brings me to Day 1 AND Day 2 of Thankful November.

DAY 1 - My Salvation
I don't even know where to beign except to say that I am beyond humbled and blessed and thankful for my amazing God who saw fit to have mercy on me. I have never experienced more love, satisfaction and true joy than in His presence. My life is forever changed all because of Jesus. All the things that I stress me out, all the things that I worry about, all the things that make me mad, sad, happy, fearful, etc can all be given to God and in His sovereignty "all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

I remember that first moment. I remember when I called out to God. Actually at the time it was more out of necessity, reverance and fear of the Almighty God than a sweet love for Him. I remember that night very well. At this point I had been living with my Aunt and Uncle for 2 years in San Antonio, TX. (Side Note: I always thought I was 12, but we lived in San Antonio only until I was 10 so I had to have been 10.) I remember we were talking about death, what happens when you die and seeing all our loved ones again someday. I remember that time stopped in that moment. Was my mom in heaven? or hell? Was I ever going to get to see her again? I remember thinking that I didn't want to go to hell, but I knew I deserved it. I remember crying so hard and begging God to have mercy on me. (probably not in those words, but in that general mindset) I remember knowing in that instant that I was loved and cherished and chosen. I remember not being scared of hell anymore. I remember not being concerned about seeing my mom again at that point because I knew that I wasn't going to hell and that was what mattered. It was the happiest, most perfect day of my life...the day that God got a hold of my heart and made me His child. Thank you, Abba Father. I love you.


DAY 2 - My Husband
He's funny. He's smart. He's handsome. He's charming. He's a great dancer. He is witty. He is knowledgeable in all movies and music. He loves his kids. He's a mastermind poker player. He is a great leader. He has good style...most of the time. He is caring. He is strong. He is sexy. He is my personal heater. He is my adorable sleepy robot.

I turned around in my seat that day and saw his smile; His dimples melted me to a puddle of mush. A few weeks later he turned up the music, pulled me out of the car one evening and danced with me in the middle of the parking lot. A few weeks later he tucked my hair behind my ear, kissed me and told me he found what he had been looking for. A few months later he got down on one knee with shaky hands and the sweetest smile and told the British couple next to us that he was "going to marry this girl" and asked "will you"? A couple months later we said "I do" with a very grumpy old man and a simple white sun dress and flip flops. A year and a half later we welcomed our miracle into the world, sweet Ryot. Almost a year later our marriage was rocked in the worst way and over the months God saw us through and gave me the answer to my prayer for so many years with Brian's salvation. (PRAISE GOD) A couple months later God drew Brian even closer to His side and revealed to us our purpose as a couple and individuals with the call to ministry. Now we are waiting patiently once again to be reunited and to be able to dive head first into the next chapter of our lives together. The important thing being that we are TOGETHER and following God's will for our lives. Hence, one of our songs, "Better Together" by Jack Johnson.

I love my Savior. I love my husband. I am blessed.