Dry Spells?

Thankful November Day 27: God's faithfulness

I have had some things on my mind and since I needed a Day 27 thankful post, I figured this was the perfect time to write about it. And boy am I really thankful for God's faithfulness. As I look through my life I can see the thread of His presence. I can see His hand working in the people, places and experiences that I sometimes did not agree with. It helps to look back at the past to help me buffer the present circumstances. I can have an experience I didn't like but remember how God has brought me through other obstacles and then just like that I have a positive outlook on an otherwise bleek situation.

I have been listening to Shane and Shane non-stop. Like seriously, on repeat constantly in my car. Shane and Shane = God's gift of talent and pure God-fearing hearts. One of their songs "Praise Him" has good lyrics and of course in true Shane and Shane style, good harmonies. This morning I was hormonizing my little heart out and then the Holy spirit moved me to soften my voice and listen. And I heard these lyrics:

"Everyone who's on a mountain
Everyone in the driest place
Praise Him, Praise Him"

I had to be silent and just let those words sink in. It is easy to forget to thank God when we are on the mountain top and everything is going good. It is easy to continue with life and get wrapped up in the children, husband, animals, work, responsibilities, etc. and forget that God is the one blessing us with all of this and He deserves our praise. Plus, how much more happy can you be when you are at the feet of God praising Him? I have found nothing that compares. But it's the second line that I kinda got stuck on. "Everyone in the driest place." I can remember just a few days ago for a split second wondering if my prayers were just hitting the ceiling or if God was really listening. Sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to myself. Sometimes I long so much for communion with God but I open my Bible and I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I feel like I am just in a dry place where no one can hear me. Sometimes I sit and wait for Him to talk but I allow the world to close in and give me directives. Sometimes I listen and I don't hear anything at all. Sometimes I feel that I love God so much but I don't know how to show it or I can't feel/receive love from Him.

As I was contemplating these thoughts and struggles, I thought about Gary Chapman and his book, The Five Love Languages. I know for a fact that my primary love language is touch. My "love meter" goes up more when I am in a huge embrace from my Granny than when she tells me that she loves me or that I'm beautiful. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing that too and I think it is necessary in a good relationship for all of the love languages to be present, but I know that what really gets to my core is touch. So my question...how does that work with my relationship with God?

During the marriage conference by Dr. Chapman that I attended a couple weeks ago, he said that he has been studying this very thing. I imagine that is what stirred up these thoughts to begin with. He said that statistically those people who's love language is Quality Time received salvation when they were alone and praying to God. He said that often times people who's love language is Physical Touch will explain their conversion story as one with weeping and some say they felt shivers all over their body or some other physical connection. I can remember weeping and I can remember a distinct feeling coming over me that a boulder had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was very real and very much God's arms over me. With that being said, I can't help but wonder how this ties in. Do I sometimes feel this disconnect because I can't get a physical connection?

*Disclaimer: I am in NO way making excuses for these "dry spell" experiences. I believe that what the Bible says is true and states:

Psalm 33:4 "For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does."

Psalm 139:7-10 "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast"

I know that God is always present and desires to have a relationship with His children. But I promised to be transparent so that's what I am trying to do with expressing how I feel.*

Usually by the time I gather my thoughts I have done some sort of research or have some sort of answer, but this time I guess I'm just trying to not lose this lead. This lead of growing a closer, deeper relationship with my Abba. I want to commune with Him. I want my approach to His presence to be pleasing to Him. I want to feel His love and give Him love in return without any doubts or second thoughts ever. I love the Lord. I am so thankful for His presence in my life. I am so thankful for the blessings He has poured out on my life. I am awed by His glory and the incredible sacrifice that He made for me. For me. As Jason says, I AM the worst sinner I know. But Jesus, perfect as He is, took the blame for me and my sins. Of course I want to show Him love. He has ALWAYS been faithful. But I feel like I fall so short of giving Him the praise, honor, glory and love that He deserves.

So my question remains the same...and before I ask it again I will say, I know God loves me. I know the truth in the Bible and I do feel His presence. But I'm just thinking that maybe someone with the Quality Time love language would feel God's love more. Or someone with the love language of Words of Affirmation...I mean, goodness! They have it made! The Bible is FULL of love letters to God and from God to US! Am I just overanalyzing this? Does any of this even make sense?

I'm not sure yet, but I am excited to find out. It's just another quest in seeking and loving the Lord. It can only end in goodness. :)

God is good. God is faithful. God is perfect. God is loving.
Despite my circumstances. God is love. Pure, sacrificial, agape love.